Fatherhood

In a song I heard not too long ago stated what a father is or should be. It words went like,
“A father’s place is to preside, provide,
To love and teach the gospel to his children.
A father leads in family prayer to share
Their love for Father in Heaven.”
The Family: A Proclamation To The World backs up the song’s lyrics by stating, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Did you catch that? Both the song and the proclamation state a father’s role with three P’s; preside, provide, and protect.

To Preside
A father presiding means to teach his children and care for them. A father should exercise righteous influence as he uplifts his children. A father is there to counsel his children and bless them in life. Fathers who are involved in their children’s lives leads to greater cognitive ability, less behavioral issues, have sons impregnate girls at a young age or daughters who get pregnant at a young age, decrease the chance of getting into drugs, increase the chance of having successful relationships, and achieve higher education. Fathers who are involved have children who have fewer problems in school and have higher social competence.

To Provide
While things may have changed, for a long time fathers were the only provider in the home unless the mother had to get work to help financially. A father’s primary responsibility is to provide for his children’s necessities of life such as clothes, shelter, and food. “To be a good father is often equated with being a good provider. This context of material demands and management of resources in raising a family furnishes another fundamental principle of fathering, which it to meet a child’s temporal needs and make opportunities for him or her to grow and develop” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper 2012, p. 145).

To Protect
Life is not easy. It is full of stress, confusion, and threats. When children come into the world, fathers should prepare children for the challenges of life. A father is a protective figure in the home and as he prepares his children and teaches them skills to survive and make their own choices in life when they leave the home. As a protector, it is important to monitor the environment your children are in. “most fundamentally, a father’s presence and protective attention in the home environment tend to limit the intrusion of other negative influences that can affect children, such as gang culture or criminal invitations” (Hawkins, Dollahite, & Draper 2012, p. 147).

Some fathers are involved while others are not but the point is, everyone has different experiences with their father. My father worked at home so I had the chance to see him 24/7. While he was around, it wasn’t as if I was chillin’ with my dad because he had work to do as he was providing for the family. However much my father worked, he was at the dinner table and played games with us children before bed. Every Saturday when the weather was good, my father would be outside doing yard work and spending quality time with the family. My father taught us the value of hard work, make confident choices, honesty, and responsibility.

My husband and I do not have children but we have many conversations about what kind of parents, a father and mother we would like to be one day. We both had fathers who were involved as we were growing up and built strong bonds with us. Something we do currently to ensure father involvement in our home is to set time away from the business of life and spend that time together where we are away from distractions like our phones. Once a week we have a date planned where we do something we have not done before and plan a weekend trip once a month where we visit somewhere close to where we live. Being involved now in each other’s lives and taking ourselves away from distractions will get us in the habit early so when we have children, we will be involved in their lives and to be the parent who is a leader, teacher, and friend.

Reference:

Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation principles and research perspectives. Provo, UT: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.