The dictionary states that stress is any persistent worry and/or fear about everyday situations we face. Many of us wish and dream of a stress free life. Did you know that we actually need stress in our lives and relationships?? While we see stress through negative lenses, stress actually strengthens us individually and brings us closer to our spouses, children, family members, and friends. Here are a few of the many family stressors we may face and are currently facing:
- Money
- Disabilities
- Depression/Anxiety
- Religion
- Death
- Infidelity
- Infertility
Everyone acts differently to these stress factors. For example, when I face stress individually or in my marriage I tend to panic, cry, try to run away from it, or push it away. My reaction does not serve me well because stress does not just leave; it stays. My husband on the other hand faces stress head on. While it may worry him, he does not panic but stands strong and deals with it. As we are merely human, we only do as what comes natural! The way we might react when facing stress or the way we make mistakes in life does not make us a bad people for we are only doing what is natural.
Let’s talk about one of the family stressors from the list. Depression. When an individual has depression, it not only affects them but also those around them. For example, research shows that children from depressed homes that are adopted into undepressed homes are not depressed while children from undepressed homes are adopted into depressed homes become depressed. Why is this the case? Because depression is not genetic but a social behavior that we pick up. When facing depression and other family stressors, we ask ourselves questions like, why me? Why my family? Why is my spouse or children acting this way? When we face any crisis, we drown ourselves in “what if.” We chew ourselves out, put ourselves down and condemn ourselves when we make a mistake or quit when something becomes too hard for us to accomplish.
How families define problems is how we communicate with each other. Instead of coming together, we grow apart. We turn inward. Internal is worse than external because internal draws us further from our loved ones whereas external helps us come closer to each other. Rather we should recognize we made a mistake, learn from it then turn around and not do it again. We should recognize that it is ok for something to be hard and work even harder to accomplish the task. We must do our hardest to recognize our own untruth thoughts and replace them with true thoughts! The beauty of everything is that we get to choose! We get to choose what we think and say. We get to choose how we react. Our brain is fixated on what we tell it because the brain is a judging machine and assesses what we see. There are many stresses in life and we will face stress endlessly. What is the best thing to do when facing stress? Take control and handle things as they are. This may be easier said than done but remember that all things are possible.
Family Relations 